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Clubfoot
5:08 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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Madeasy, i'm sorry to hear that mate. As you say nothing surprises you in the end but as hard as it is you cant let it make you bitter forever. Sure it's healthy to be angry but you rightly say the kids are ultimately the only losers and as far as i can tell lawyers are the only winners EVER.
My own ex-wife tried to restrict contact with my two infant sons to a contact centre in Tottenham (not close to where either of us lived at that time) as far as i could tell only to make life as unbearable as possible and i guessed so that she could try and to force me to agree to her ridiculous financial demands.
I refused on the basis of there being no grounds for such a situation or for such conditions being imposed and she got absconded with the kids and wouldnt even tell her solicitor where my sons were sleeping at night.
I didnt see my sons for 5 months.
she's a cunt. i will never forgive her, and i will never forget what she put me through.
One day however, when they are old enough, my sons will learn what their mother did in their name, and they will be able to make their own judgement.
I will always know that i behaved decently and can sleep at night because of it.
I cant ask for more than that and i'm happier now than i've been in my entire adult life.
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madeeasy
4:48 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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Hate to say it but Clubfoot is right.
The depths of their anger and spite seem to hold no bounds. Just had to apply for an enforcement order against my ex wife.
You would never ever ever have beleived she would have done some of the things she has done and is doing against the things she says she loves the most in the world. just a shame her hate against me seems more than her love for them.
The kids end up the biggest losers.
good luck fifth
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Hermit Road
3:34 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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Reply Northern Sold 1:54 Mon Jan 9
.
Offer her 50% of your Season Ticket...."
That's what started the whole thing off. They were lovebirds till he suggested that.
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gph
3:17 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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I had a girlfriend who was living in the same house as her husband and his new partner.
Mealtimes were a bit weird - they seemed to be into competitive snogging.
I obviously didn't measure up, as I got dumped for a new new boyfriend
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Clubfoot
3:12 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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Fifth, i genuinely wish you all the best and hope you have as painless experience as possible. I take no joy from being a doom merchant where my fellow man and divorce are concerned.
Unfortunately as i'm sure you already know everyone has their two penneth throw in and no doubt you'll get advice from every Tom Dick & Harry which is ultimately useless because i do believe every individual has their own unique set of circumstances and decisions which only you can make.
The only thing i would like you to believe is true though that it really does get better in the end.
Behave admirably and life does go on.
And it is GREAT.
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Fifth Column
3:04 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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roltrader if I got stoned in the house that would definitely be used against me
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Fifth Column
3:03 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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Clubfoot
I haven't had a drink for about 20 years so that's unlikely but I get what you're saying. Thanks, I genuinely appreciate the advice.
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roltrader
3:02 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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permissible
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roltrader
3:01 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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Is stoning permissable ??
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Nurse Ratched
2:57 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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"Offer her 50% of your season ticket..."
Yeah, that'll teach the bitch.
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Clubfoot
2:29 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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Fifth ultimately only you know your own mind and you'll be fine in the end just be strong. My comment about not being disillusioned was purely to say that things will get very dark inbetween now and that that day though.
As for your family lawyer friend. He was lucky and must've been whiter than white. If you've got anything that she can use against you that could be termed "unreasonable behaviour..." you're fucked. I understand you like the odd drink from time to time? you're fucked. You've had a row in front of the kids after ONE pint.... you're fucked. That shit reads back terribly when informed by a solicitor mate trust me.
Plough your own furrow by all means but you'd better make sure you've done your homework and your house is pristince clean, ship shape and Bristol fashion..
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Northern Sold
1:54 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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Offer her 50% of your Season Ticket....
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Fifth Column
1:41 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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And no, I'm not even going to attempt to go down the legal route. I don't have the cash and down want to burn it all on lawyers anyway. I had a friend of mine who is a barrister in this field basically advise me not to go down the legal route as (a) highly unlikely I'll get custody and (b) that it will cost shitloads.
Funnily enough the barrister friend went through the same thing. He got divorced and flat out refused to move out of marital home for a long, long time. His reasoning was that she'd agree to anything re finances/children eventually just to get him out of the house and it more or less worked. To be fair, he's a bit of a #### but if that's what a family law barrister did then... that's why I'm thinking about it.
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Fifth Column
1:36 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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Clubfoot
That's cheered me up no end.
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Clubfoot
1:16 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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Sorry Gruesome, that comment was directed towards Fifth.
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Gruesome Dump
1:11 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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Clubfoot, I've no idea what you think I'm disillusioned about.
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Clubfoot
1:09 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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Gruesome, that's a massive assumption based on the childrens age, who is the main breadwinner, is the mum a "stay at home mother" etc etc etc. For most working men it isn't even a consideration. YES access arrangements have improved hugely in recent years i was in court only in October and each time the courts appear to be listening to the needs of the father more and more which is encouraging. Also if / once the children are old enought they simply vote with their feet so that makes things easier. But dont be disillusioned.
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Clubfoot
1:05 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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Someone very wise once said
"There is no such thing as an amicable divorce"
This is true even more so if you have money between you, whether that be in your property or in investments/pensions. Because the only guy i ever knew who had a semi amicable divorce didnt have a pot to piss in and therefore nothing to fight over except custody and as two upstanding citizens they didnt fuck that up.
My advice for what it's worth, having experienced the most painful, acrimonious and expensive divorce i could have possibly imagined is as follows;
Enjoy your children while you are under the same roof. Spend as much time with them as you can. Because one day she will decide she wants you out, and they can and will do ANYTHING to achieve that, trust me. You think you know her. YOU DONT. You think because there is no one else involved there's no reason to get shitty, YOU'RE WRONG. You think you know the woman you married better than anyone and you just KNOW that she wouldnt be capable of fusking you over, SHE WILL.
If money is involved. She will be told what she "DESERVES" or what she is "OWED" and once those words appear in her vocabulary you are fucked my friend. The knives get sharpened and guerilla warfare begins. No holds barred and they are dirty filthy animals.
Good luck. I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. I mean that.
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Gruesome Dump
12:38 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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Too generic to answer sensibly, without knowing details. But don't just assume custody battles always end up with the mother winning. If you can prove the kids are better off with you then they'll live with you. Good luck with it all.
Punch her in the neck as well.
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Fifth Column
11:49 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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ATBOG wrote...
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
Have you considered a honour killing?
Yes it's crossed my mind as a possibility but on reflection I don't think she's strong enough to kill me so I reckon I'm safe on that score.
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ATBOG
11:48 Mon Jan 9
Re: Divorce, custody and housing... question...
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Have you considered a honour killing?
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